NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I know it... Reddit told me

A little bit ago, I joined Reddit. Because... I thought it might be another way of connecting with people, of looking for breadtags and just connecting with like minded folk. One of the sub-reddits I joined was a group about KNOLLING . Knolling you ask? What the heck is knolling? Well, see here for what knolling is...

https://knolling.org/what-is-knolling#:~:text=Knolling%20is%20the%20practice%20of,sense%20of%20order%20and%20clarity.

But put simply, knolling is the process of arranging related objects in parallel or 90-degree angles on a flat surface.

So having done flatlay images of collections for AGES, which employs this kind of organisation, I decided to post into the group. So I did. No probs. Good response, nice interaction. Thought it was all fine.

Then there was a gap in my posting, because as you know, life gets busy etc.

Fast forward a bit.

When hit with a bout of being unwell, and having time to lie around and recover, not able to do much, I found myself posting again, just like I had done before.

To my dismay, after nice comments and people liking my post and image, the admins of the group declined it. Removed! Apparently it did not fit the criteria of knolling. I reached out to get some feedback and ask why. The response was not what I expected, but I took it on board, and decided to post another image. Though only after reading the guidelines AGAIN, and looking at what others had been posting, just to make sure I was following the rules. I will admit, I'm a people pleaser, I like to do the right thing.

So, confident I was in the clear, I sent through another image.

Declined again. Tried another image. And again... declined.

Wow.

This continued. I contacted admins to ask for reasons, because it began to feel a bit personal. Seriously, I think it happened 4 times?

My hackles were raised. There were obvious contradictions to what I was being told and the images others had posted and were accepted by the admins.

I told hubby, and he was like.. OMG Let It GO.

He was so right. Of course he was! I needed to let it go. It totally did not matter. AT ALL.

But I was irked.

I was pissed.

I was offended.

Who were these people to judge me/ to be the gatekeepers of what KNOLLING is? !!!

I felt victimised. And that their parameters were way too tight and also contradictory, inconsistant and ultimately harmful to growing the community. In my messages to them I tried to explain my images, I tried to get them to see another perspective. I explained that objects can be classified and sorted in many ways, many subjective. For example - a collection of blue plastic things could be sorted and arranged many ways - according to size, usage, shape ,or perhaps tone of colour. I wrote all this very politely. Very politely actually. The response? They blocked me. I was given a 28 day suspension! They refused to engage. And were rude if I am honest.

First I giggled. Then I cussed.

And then I felt ridiculous for feeling like that. What was going on here? Why was I getting so worked up?

I realised that it was me feeling like I was not good enough or not being understood. Being judged.

But by people I did not know. Or care about. Whose opinion meant nothing really. I realised I had the equivalent of a reddit version of road rage.

How pointless and stupid!

And so I let it go. I decided to use my creative and mental energies more productively.

I have not posted on there since., and it has been a good while. Boy, am I tempted though! I really am. I do have ideas for other collections I could KNOLL.?! Hehehhehehe. Watch this space...

Images here include ones NOT acceptable for knolling... as well ones that might be. They all come from one of my Instagram feeds - shani.collects.things